I will write more later, but needed to get this out there...

Okay, reading back over my posts, I have been ranting a bit.  Those of us who are single in SL and sexfiends can probably understand where I am coming from in most of it:)

First off, I want to thank those of you who put up with me over the last week.  My RL mother, who is my only parent in the first life, and one of my closest friends, ended up in the hospital again after massive leg and hip pain, loss of use of her legs, and frequent/sudden blackouts.  Since there is 1000 miles between us at present and I am the only one of my siblings that really gives a shit, I had to handle alot of stuff via the phone, and I got uber stressed while handling this.
Currently she is out of ICU, been in a regular room for several days, and will be moved into a rehabilitation center for approximately 3 weeks to recover use of her legs and become more mobile.  Right now, I have been working at setting up "penpals" for her... basically friends to send her a card or something silly to make her smile while she is in rehab... so my distraction from SL will be minimized soon:)


Secondly, for those who have been in a hole, you need to know that TONIGHT is the biggest fucking party of SL sexdom's existence... well, as far as I am concerned.  Tonight is the 5th anniversary of Hard Alley... Yes, the original sex-drenched sim on SL, is turning 5 years old today!  That's like... fuck.. 50 years old in RL!  lol.  Yes, I am going to be there..  I will be stripping, and I will be naked before too long, and I KNOW I am going to be fucking everything I can, so be there or be at church..... LMAO! (coincidentally, there IS a church in Hard Alley...  just watch your ass when you kneel)

THIRDLY (and one of the reasons I am writing today), I have had some people being a little confused again about my reasons for being on SL.  Folks, I have SL family and and I have close friends whom I fuck who become part of my normal SL life... but I am not looking for a boyfriend, or a partner.  At all.  I am not looking for anyone to get addicted to sex with me either.  If you are good at sex, and you can keep this as a "friend with benefits" deal, then you are in my "fuckbuddies for life" list...  LOL!
BUT... BUT...  if you start getting annoyed when I am speaking to my RL husband on the phone (he calls 10 times a day, people...  he's a trucker and I am his only source of entertainment on the road that talks back.. deal with it), if you start mentioning constantly how much you miss me between playtimes in a way that screams "I am falling for you", if you start behaving in a manner that makes me twitchy because you are acting like you are getting emotionally attached to me in a romantic way, I am going to break off the sex.  I have to, folks.  I am madly in love with my RL husband.  Who, coincidentally DOES know everything I do on here, and who has no issues with it.  Because of this, I don't want a boyfriend/girlfriend in SL.  I will NOT break someone's RL heart, when they finally get it through their head that I am not leaving my RL soulmate for them.  It's mean, and it's cruel.

If I EVER partner, it will be with one of three people (one of whom is already partnered, so she is out the door..LMAO), who are my friends and fuckbuddies, but absolutely know we are friends IRL only:)   They know who they are, and that is all that matters:)

So, back to the fuck party which is SL:)  Have a ball, friends.. and remember that SL DOES affect your RL, no matter how many people try to keep it just to SL:)  Everyone has a heart on the other side of the keyboard.

Pet Peeves...

Everyone has them....  it's those little things people do that make you either want to bitchslap them into the middle of next MONTH (fuck a week... a week ain't far enough for some moments), or make your delete-happy finger dangling over the person's contact card.
So I am going to have a vent moment, because I came back into SL several times now, and got hit with my "top 2" pet peeves almost instantly..LOL

Drama

• I know, normally when someone writes things like "No Drama" in their profile, it usually means that are the CAUSE of it.  Believe it or not, when I wrote "I am allergic to drama", I mean I don't want it. It DOES seriously make me RL physically sick (stress is bad for you, not sure you have been told that), and my health matters more to me than your soap opera.  I know that sounds selfish, but after all the months I have been sick, I am ENJOYING being able to walk outside on my own:)

• If you are constantly (and I mean constantly) complaining about something over and over and over and over (RL sucks, my RL is abusive but "he/she is REALLY a good person when he/she is not smacking me around!", my job sucks, my SL is boring...etc..etc...), I am going to at some point stop biting my lip and give advice. Usually it's going to be "If things are not working out the way you are doing it, CHANGE IT."  There are reasons I give this advice.  I have been there.  I have done that.  I have the old hospital bills, TROs, different SL lives to prove it.  But I also know that if you are complaining to me about things, you are said it to others, and they and I would all LOVE for you to have a better life.  Love yourself enough to change your life if it is making you feel negative.  Life is too short, FAR too short.

Jealousy

This is the ULTIMATE way to break our friendship.  Jealousy is ugly, and is NOT a turn on.

• I am friends with whom I want to be.  You got an issue with that?  Deal with it, buttercup. I "read" people, and sometimes I am right, sometimes I am wrong.  But unless someone is a fullon abusive fucktard to someone (and I mean, to where it would be mental, verbal, emotional, unconsented physical or sexual abuse), I am not going to choose sides.  Do I sound crass?  Not really meaning to, it's just that I don't do the "If you are going to be friends with him/her, I don't want to be friends with you" highschool bullshit.
  

• You are upset that I am having sex with someone else right now, and I am not with you?  Excuse me?  The ONLY person who has a right to say "Why are you fucking someone else and not me right now" is my RL husband, and trust me, his cock is #1 on priority.  Everyone on SL at the moment is "first come, first sucked", especially with my hours being as they are:)  Still feeling sore?  Here's a lollipop.

Okay, I feel better now... LOL!  Just had one of those moments, where I needed to get that out:)

YES, I am still alive....

Hi everyone!  Yes, it's Suff, the news of my demise has been greatly ex...oh wait, you never heard of me before?  Carry on..LOL!

Seriously though, I know I haven't been around as of late, and most do not know why.  I tend not to talk about RL that much with majority of people, other than "hang on, hubby on phone", so this will be a change for me.

Since about October, I have been very ill.  We were not sure exactly what it was at first, and we hoped it would just go away.  Alot of abdominal pain (I thought it was my PCOD..ovarian cysts for those who don't know that one), some nausea, a few tense moments where I came close to actually letting hubby take me to the hosp.  Finally, I relented to going to the doctor, and found out I have reoccuring blockages in my colon (I know, ewww).  The treatment for this was alot harsher on me than I thought it would be, and it seems that everytime I get rid of it, it comes back again. Right NOW though, I seem to have it under control, and I am getting my stength back.

Meanwhile, I started coming back, having fun.....  and then some freak lag hit me hard in SL.  The last 2 weeks, I was barely able to move from my home or walk around Hard Alley when I get on about 2am SLT (my wakeup time at the moment).

So.. I SEEM to be able to get back on SL without much problem now, and I am feeling stronger, and I am hornier than hell again..... and noone is around when I am.  LOL!  I am online from about 2am-2pm SLT approximately, which puts me in a shitty timeframe for interaction right now.  So, if any of you who actually run across this actually are AROUND during that time, please feel free to IM me, friend me, if you do not see me in SL, then Yahoo me at SufferingfromLockjaw (all one word) and let me know your SL name so I can find you:)...  sometimes I get distracted by other games and Photoshop when nothing is going on ingame for me.

I am hoping to actually do more with this blog soon...  actually I have an idea for another post in just a bit. 

See you soon!  *Blows you....kisses;)*

Introduction to the slut deep within...

I have been thinking through what I wanted to write in my first blog, and I think... I think I have decided:)  First, a little about the slut behind the slut, for those who have been asking....  and then onto Suff's story.


In real life (Yes, I am going to mention it..LOL), I am in my late 30s, and married to my Beloved, who is my whole world.  My life revolves around him in ways that I can only begin to describe.  We are real life swingers, both of us having high libidos and LOVING to share pleasure with friends.  Sadly, his work schedule is so nuts that swinging is on the back burner, so Suff was taken out of her little closet, dusted off, revamped, dropped into Hard Alley (A place I had been craving to try), and then revamped again by a loving friend I affectionately call my Fairy StripperMommy. 
Part of why I mention RL is for this:  on this avatar (I have others, yes), SL stays in SL.  No, I will not exchange RL pictures (a few have those, but they gained a level of trust after I knew they were mainly friends), I am not going to be having RL sex with it, so why see it, you know?:)  Let's keep this strictly to friends having cyber sex, and leave it at that:)

Now, onto Suff's story:
****************************

I don't remember much of my life, before I landed in the Alley.  I remember my mother, faintly, before she died, and I remember her calling me "Leannan", but then she died when I was a teen.  After that, it was foster home after foster home, with each of my "fathers" sneaking into my room after lights out, to fondle me.  The thing is, even though the grown men touching me made me nauseous, I liked the sensations.... alot.  The feeling coursing through my body as their hands wandered, gave me feelings I didn't know were possible.  I was so glad to grow up and get the fuck away from those sick bastards, but it opened up a whole new world for me.  If I ever castrate them, I will be sure to thank them while grinding my Stiletto Moody heels into their scrotum before making them into useless eunuchs... *smiles sweetly*.
Since I hit 18 and the goverment told me to get the hell out, I have been wandering the streets.  They gave me a ticket outside the grungy bustop in the middle of downtown, 100$ for to keep me alive for a few days, and said "Oh yeah, today's your 18th birthday, see ya."  The long busride was full of groping smelly drunk bastards, and I got off that bus at the first town I could... a little bus shelter outside a dimly lit stripclub called Hard Core. 
I walked in, feeling a little out of place, but sensing that this was a place that I would fit in.  After a few days of barely eating and realizing my funds were low, I took an application for a stripper position at Hard Core, and handed it into Trixi, handing her some incriminating photos of some of the residents as backup insurance on the job.  Hey, this is a sleaze town, you thought I was gonna get the job because of my looks?  Hell to the fuck no, I had a choice, it was corruption or fucking my way in, and the owner was a little busy at the time;)
Working nightclubs as a stripper taught me about the pleasures of running my hands over a woman's soft skin and drinking the sweet nectar from their lips, of laying back on the stage with my head hanging over while a customer shoves his hard, thick cock down my throat (Mmmmm), and about being covered in more than one body at a time and the thrill of sating groups. The dark alleys off the main streets taught me about the deep excitement that fear can lend to sex. Fuck, I love my job.
So, I walk the Alley, looking for that feeling, over and over...that natural high that only sex can give me, feeding off the pleasure that courses through my body every time I scream out in pain and pleasure.